Do You Feel the Feels?

Image may contain: textI woke up this morning with what felt like a rock in my stomach. No appetite, no motivation. Even the dogs left me alone.
I think I hit some kind of wall. I’m trying to move through all of this stuff. Trying to keep a smile on my face and a lilt in my voice. But sometimes, it all catches up. Here’s my current sitch–

I’ve got a kid in harm’s way in the Middle East.

I’ve got a kid currently staying in New Jersey.

I’ve got a kid in Arizona who is by herself and can’t leave.

I went to school yesterday to help distribute meals and thought about all of all the rest of my kiddos who don’t have a safe space to rest and who, by all accounts want to be back in school.

We had a momentary scare with my husband’s job (that one is fine, though).

And I finished Tiger King weeks ago so I don’t have that to take my mind off all of the other stuff.

I had all the feels this morning. Unfortunately, they were all of the bad feels. And I hate the bad feels. I try to quash the bad feels as soon as I feels them.

How about you? Where are you in all this?

I know that this stuff is all going to come and go, ebb and flow. And the only thing we can do is ride the wave.

I know that things are probably going to get worse before they get better.

I know that I have my family, friends, and faith to rely on in times like these.

But sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough. I want to do something and there is very little I can do to change any of these situations.

So I have a choice. I can either embrace what I’m feeling and allow myself to work through it at my own pace, or I can deny the existence of it and pretend none of this worries me.

I know that worrying about it won’t change anything. I know I have no control over any of these things. So I’m going to allow it. I’m going to acknowledge that things are messy and uncertain and that I can’t plan the next 30 hours let alone 30 days.

If I feel like I want to cry, I’m going to cry. If I feel like I want to laugh, I’m going to laugh. If I feel like I need to expend some energy, I’m going to do it in a constructive way.

I’m going to follow my instinct and intuition and trust that it is giving me what I need to create the peace and happiness necessary to get through this.

My body and brain give me signals all the time, maybe directing me where I need to be. And as long as the path they are taking me on is constructive, I’ll follow it, I’ll honor it and I’ll learn something from it.

How are you feeling? How are you coping? Are you riding or fighting the wave? Share it with us so we can travel this path together, albeit at a 6-foot distance.