I had this conversation this week with two of my favorite people. The conversations were in the context of their occupations. But honestly, the advice carries over to every aspect of life.
In a job, your value is determined by your employer. It usually depends on your experience, skill set, seniority, and other variables. Unless you’re a teacher. Then you get whatever the state decides to give you. Another post for another day.
If you feel that your salary structure reflects your value, you stay. If not, you can ask for a raise, increase in benefits or other perks. If it is given to you, great. If not, you can choose to look for a job that is more reflective of your value.
In life, the way you value yourself is reflected in your relationships and the way you treat yourself. Self-care.
The problem is that our value rather than being self-determined has been polluted by messages received in our developmental years. Messages may come from parents, teachers, friends, employers, anybody whose opinions we value.
I don’t know why people say the things they do. It may reflect the way they were spoken to and the blueprint that was set for their life. At some point, it doesn’t matter. Because it only becomes your problem if you let it.
The beauty of all of this is your value, your wealth of self can only be determined by you. You get to decide what you are worth. And the fact of the matter is you are priceless. Your value far exceeds any number you can come up with. You are unique and necessary in this life. But you have to believe that.
It’s not as hard as you think if you are in a value deficit. Simple things like affirmations can help. Setting and achieving daily mini goals is a good way to increase your self-worth. Doing things that are good for you. Exercise, treating your body with the care it deserves. Volunteering and sharing your gifts with others will do wonders for how you value you.