The Magic of Self-Confidence

I struggled. I’m a pretty literal person. If you tell me you want me to do something, I’m usually going to do exactly what you tell me. No more. No less. For all of my understanding that mistakes are necessary, I don’t like to make them.

I ran through a litany of words and phrases but nothing seemed to hit. Then about halfway through the class, I felt overwhelmed by things going on in my world and the world at large. I started to cry but didn’t really know where it was coming from.

I finished my practice and hit the showers. And then, the word hit me.

Confidence. I lacked confidence. And confidence needs to be my intention.

Confidence is tricky, especially for women. If you show too much of it, you are conceited, aggressive and/or bitchy. If you show to little you are helpless, indecisive, and/or weak.

It’s hard to hit that Goldilocks “just right” thing.

In my zeal to not make mistakes and to be that “helper” that everybody needs and wants in their life, I kind of lost part of me. The me that is strong. The me that is a badass. The me that makes good decisions.

The me that is confident.

When we collectively go through an event that has not been seen in a lifetime, it’s hard to know what we should be doing. And honestly, I’ve deferred too often and asked for way too much permission when taking action.

I’m going to freestyle this weekend and see how it feels. And I can take some of the ideas here and use them to help me work on self-confidence.  The only person I’m going to seek permission from is me. I will defer to myself if a decision needs to be made. Right or wrong, I will be confident when I make it. And will gladly watch the magic happen.