Last week while I was on Hurri-break, I had time to read a couple of books.
One was called ironically unsubtly, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.
I thought it was going to be about not caring what anybody thinks about you and how to build an amazing life.
But if you could get past the salty language (I did), there were a lot of things in the book that were aha moments for me.
One of the most profound was the idea that there is a real difference between fault and responsibility for things that go on in everyone’s life.
You see when events happen, especially challenging ones, many times we try to assign fault so that we can also assign responsibility to someone else for making us feel better about it.
That’s not how it goes.
Mark Manson, the author, argues that you and I must always take responsibility for things that happen to us. Even when they are not our fault. Always.
I absolutely get what he is saying. Even when terrible stuff happens and it happens through no fault of our own, we are still responsible for handling it. It is only in this way that we can move forward and learn from whatever the situation is.
Easy? Nope. Especially for the hard stuff. Car accident? Not your fault but still your responsibility to get your car fixed so you can get to work and home.
Sickness? Not your fault but still your responsibility to take care of yourself so you can get back on your feet and be the person you need to be for yourself and those important people in your life.
Betrayal by someone you love? You may or may not have had a part to play in it but you are still responsible to assess, evaluate and move forward so you can create and continue with the healthy relationships in your life.
Taking responsibility for everything that happens to you empowers you. It allows you to create the narrative. You are the one who gets to decide how best to handle it. How to learn and grow from it.
Not taking responsibility and focusing on fault means you are stuck. You ruminate. You will not grow and learn from the experience.
Is there a situation that you are currently in that’s causing you pain? Take a good hard look at it. Fault? Doesn’t matter. Responsibility? It’s all you baby! Are you grabbing it by the horns and taking charge? Because that’s what’s required.
Just that little shift in thinking can make a world of difference in how you view the challenges and the opportunities they present. Go ahead. Take responsibility and see how much your life can change for the better.