I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting lately. Parenting received from our parents. Parenting provided for children, both young and adult. Parenting observed in others.
A couple of days ago, tt struck me that we also have to parent ourselves.
Ideally, a parent is one who loves unconditionally. They are our biggest cheerleaders. Continual dispensers of sage advice. They pick us up when we get knocked down and let us know when we are headed toward realistic danger.
They always have our backs and want those things that will make us healthy, happy and whole. An ideal parent always wants what’s best for us. Always.
I fully realize that not everyone has or are ideal parents. We are human and as human, flawed.
But think about that perfect parent. Would a perfect parent ever say “Boy you are stupid.” Or “You look terrible.” Would that ideal parent say “Why in the world do think you can do that?” or “That dream is way out of your reach.”
Nope. An ideal parent wouldn’t say any of those things.
An ideal parent supports. They motivate. They encourage. They want you to achieve your full potential.
They don’t want you to give up. They don’t want you to fail. The won’t allow you to sabotage yourself. Or doubt that you can do everything you want to do. They don’t use shame as currency to get you to bend you to their will.
They want you to be resilient, to meet any and all challenges fiercely.
In the past, I’ve spent a lot of time encouraging people to speak to themselves as they would to a best friend.
Flip-flop alert–I’ve changed my mind.
From now on I will encourage people to talk to themselves like their older, wiser, loving, encouraging parent would. A parent who knows you better than anyone and who wants all of the good things life has to offer.
I know I’m not a perfect parent. I’ve not always thought about parenting in the terms stated above. I wish I had. Here’s the beauty, though. When my inner child looks to my inner parent for advice and counsel, it makes my outer parent that much better.
You see, change needs to come from the inside. And when we change for the better, we project that better to everyone we love, and for that matter, come in contact with every day. Sounds like a pretty good way to be. #HappyFix #SelfCare